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The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is \ The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 182 seconds

Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.

Related: badass, capital, comedy, court, death, fake, funny, justice, law, news, penalty, punishment, satire, supreme

The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 161 seconds

Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls.

Related: brothers, comedy, cyrus, disney, funny, hannah, jonas, miley, montana, onion, teens

The Onion: Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election The Onion: Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 164 seconds

Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.
More coverage at: http://onion.com

Related: 2008, election, machines, onion, the, voting

The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 180 seconds

Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.

Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, politics, satire, voting

Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 195 seconds

Voting machine DRE700 came out of nowhere to defeat Barack Obama and John McCain and become the first machine president.

Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, florida, funny, john, machine, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire, voting

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 145 seconds

For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.
More coverage at: http://onion.com

Related: barack, clinton, election, hillary, john, mccain, obama, politics, president, voting

The Onion: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash The Onion: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 180 seconds

Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com

Related: crash, internet, onion, technology, the

The Onion: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot The Onion: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 146 seconds

Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.
More coverage: http://onion.com

Related: disaster, news, onion, the

In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 198 seconds

Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest.

Related: comedy, fake, funny, halloween, news, onion, satire

The Onion: 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams The Onion: 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 178 seconds

Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts.

Related: boy, breasts, children, comedy, funny, onion, scouts, teens, women

Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 125 seconds

With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.

Related: bailout, business, comedy, fake, funny, money, news, onion, paulson, recession, satire

NASA Simulator Preps Astronauts For Larry King Interview NASA Simulator Preps Astronauts For Larry King Interview
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 212 seconds

NASA instructors offer a firsthand look at the training astronauts endure before they can physically and mentally withstand an appearance on Larry King Live.

Related: astronauts, comedy, fake, funny, king, larry, live, nasa, news, onion, satire

YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A \ YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 152 seconds

YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit.

Related: comedy, contest, fake, funny, news, onion, satire, youtube

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain\ Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 186 seconds

Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.

Related: 2008, barack, comedy, election, funny, john, mccain, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire

The Onion: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex The Onion: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 161 seconds

In The Know: Panelists discuss the complicated issues facing Nigeria or Niger.
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com

Related: africa, news, nigeria, onion, the

The Onion: Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff In 11,680th Day The Onion: Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff In 11,680th Day
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 151 seconds

The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.

Related: bush, comedy, fake, funny, india, jihad, muslim, news, nuclear, onion, pakistan, satire, weapons

The Onion: Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad The Onion: Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 164 seconds

In this installment of Beyond The Facts, a precocious 8-year-old girl participates in grown-up politics by spreading smears and lies.

Related: 2008, ad, attack, barack, comedy, election, funny, john, mccain, obama, onion, politics

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 161 seconds

After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game.

Related: brady, comedy, football, funny, giants, jacksonville, jaguars, manning, onion, satire, superbowl, tom

The Onion: Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation The Onion: Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 144 seconds

Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force the Make-A-Wish Foundation to shut down.
More coverage at: http://onion.com

Related: children, foundation, health, make, news, wish

The Onion: \ The Onion: 'No Values Voters' Search For Most Evil Candidate
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 118 seconds

Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.

Related: 2008, barack, comedy, election, evil, fake, funny, house, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, white

The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 159 seconds

Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom.

Related: barack, comedy, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire

The Onion: Gunman Kills 15 Potential Swing Voters The Onion: Gunman Kills 15 Potential Swing Voters
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 187 seconds

The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans.

Related: barack, candidates, comedy, election, fake, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, president, satire

The Onion: U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa The Onion: U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 124 seconds

The United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African country.
More coverage at: http://onion.com

Related: africa, aid, news, onion, states, the, united

The Onion: Memorial Honors Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster The Onion: Memorial Honors Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 151 seconds

Officials in California dedicated the Folsom Dam Memorial, which will honor the nearby residents that will die when the faulty dam fails.
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com

Related: disaster, news

Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 142 seconds

Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.

Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, politics, satire